104 Eric Andre Quotes: The Insane and Hilarious Words of a Comedic Genius

Eric Andre is not just a comedian, he’s a living meme. His off-the-wall humor has inspired countless parodies, redraws, and even whole TV shows. One thing that makes Eric so unique is his wit and sharp tongue, which is why Eric Andre quotes have become the cultural currency of today’s online world. Whether you’re a fan of his show or just looking for some hilarious one-liners, this post has got you covered. Let’s dive into the top Eric Andre quotes that will make you LOL like never before.

good eric andre quotes ([cy])

Eric Andre is a comedian, actor, and writer known for his surreal humor and off-the-wall antics. His unique style often defies categorization, but one thing is certain: his quotes are some of the most memorable in the world of comedy. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the best Eric Andre quotes that showcase his wit, irreverence, and absurdity.

  • “I feel like Garfield, Mondays always bring me down.”
  • “I think vegans are trying to destroy the world. Everything tasty in life is made of meat, dairy or eggs.”
  • “I’m like the Nikola Tesla of comedy. Nobody knows who I am.”
  • “I’m like the Kim Kardashian of anxiety. Everyone’s talking about me, but no one knows why.”
  • “I tried to join a marching band, but I kept playing the wrong instrument.”
  • “I don’t do drugs, just weed and acid occasionally.”
  • “You can’t spell America without Eric Andre.”
  • “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
  • “I have a lot of racist skeletons in my closet, but they’re all missing their limbs.”
  • “I’m a human Swiss Army knife. I can be useful in any situation, but no one knows how to use me.”
  • “I’m like a piñata filled with depression and anxiety.”
  • “Why have a mid-life crisis when you can have a daily existential crisis?”
  • “I’m so anxious, even my imaginary friends have social anxiety.”
  • “I’m like a bird. I fly away when things get too real.”
  • “I’m like a burnout Peter Pan. I refuse to grow up, but I also can’t fly.”
  • “Why settle for mediocrity when you can settle for disappointment?”

funny eric andre quotes ([cy])

If you’re looking for a refreshing dose of absurdity in your life, Eric Andre is your guy. Known for his surreal humor and boundary-pushing antics on his talk show, his quotes are a goldmine of bizarre and hilarious quips that will make you question your sanity. So grab your popcorn and buckle up, because we’re diving into the wild world of Eric Andre quotes!

  • “Why vote for the lesser of two evils? Vote for me, the greater evil!”
  • “I’m a level-headed guy. I always deal with my problems directly – I ignore them and they go away.”
  • “I love waking up to the smell of bacon in the morning…too bad I work at a mattress factory.”
  • “I never really got into politics. I like to keep my hate indiscriminate.”
  • “My problems can be summarized in two words: everything and nothing.”
  • “I’m like a piñata. Always getting hit, but never enough candy.”
  • “People always ask me, ‘Eric, what’s your secret to success?’ And I tell them, ‘Reruns of Alf and heavy drug use!'”
  • “I’m not saying I have commitment issues, but I only have one shoe on this morning.”
  • “I was voted class clown in high school. It’s been downhill ever since.”
  • “I have strong opinions, but I’m not afraid to change them when someone else has a better idea. Like when I thought I was straight.”
  • “I’m not just a pretty face, I also have a pretty back, and a pretty stomach, and pretty arms…”
  • “I tried to start a hot dog stand, but there were too many vegetables involved.”
  • “I’m not good at math, but I’m great at staring off into space and pretending like I’m doing something important.”
  • “People say laughter is the best medicine, but clearly those people have never tried brandy.”
  • “I don’t understand people who say they’re ‘too busy.’ I mean come on, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. How busy can you really be?”
  • “I once tried to make a documentary about the mating habits of iguanas. It didn’t end well.”

wise eric andre quotes (sayings)

When it comes to humor and satire, Eric Andre is an iconic name that instantly pops up in many people’s minds. His witty and sarcastic comments often leave people with a smile on their faces. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the most memorable Eric Andre quotes that have left a lasting impression on fans worldwide.

  • “The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness.”
  • “Without struggle there can be no progress.”
  • “If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.”
  • “Ignorance is bliss, but only until reality hits.”
  • “Life is a beautiful struggle.”
  • “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
  • “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.”
  • “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”
  • “Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever.”
  • “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”
  • “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
  • “In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first.”
  • “If you want to change the world, change yourself first.”
  • “Freedom is not given to us by anyone; we have to cultivate it ourselves.”
  • “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”

famous eric andre quotes ([cy])

If absurdity had a voice, it would be Eric Andre’s. He is the type of comedian that once you listen to him, you can never go back to the ordinary. Today, let’s take a dive into the witty and nonsensical world of Eric Andre quotes.

  • “Why are all these people here? There must be a sale at Forever 21 or something.”
  • “Let’s just jump into it like it’s a cold swimming pool.”
  • “Why do I look like I’m on my way to a prostate exam?”
  • “We’re like a beautiful butterfly, man, only instead of wings, it’s just pure talent.”
  • “I’m a humanitarian, you know, just not to humans.”
  • “We’re gonna do some stuff that I like to call ‘pranking the prankster’.”
  • “My goal is to make the show so weird that even Adult Swim cancels it.”
  • “I’m like a fraction of a man, you know, just little pieces missing.”
  • “I try to be a role model for young people, you know, someone they can look up to and be like, ‘Wow, I really hope I never make that many mistakes in my life.'”
  • “I just want to be a voice for the voiceless, you know, the people who don’t have a voice…and the people who do have a voice but are just really quiet.”
  • “Life’s a trip, man. It’s like a Ferris wheel, you know? Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, and sometimes…you’re just stuck in line waiting to get on.”
  • “I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, man. You think you got me figured out, but then you realize you’re missing a few pieces.”
  • “I’m not a comedian, I’m a mental patient who got his own show.”
  • “I don’t believe in giving up, you know? Unless it’s on something that’s really hard.”
  • “I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like a compliment.”
  • “You know what they say, you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette. And I gotta say…I’m really good at breaking eggs.”

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What makes Eric Andre’s quotes so popular?

Eric Andre’s quotes are popular because they are hilarious, absurd, and often touch on important social or political issues. For instance:

“Why watch porn when you can just stare at a wall and feel nothing?” – Eric Andre

2. Who can benefit from reading Eric Andre’s quotes?

Anyone who enjoys absurdist humor or wants to gain a new perspective on society can benefit from Eric Andre’s quotes. For instance:

“Why are you charging me for directions? I’m trying to give you money!” – Eric Andre (to a taxi driver)

3. What themes do Eric Andre’s quotes often touch on?

Eric Andre’s quotes often touch on themes related to race, gender, and social justice. For instance:

“I’m just trying to find a black astronaut. Is that too much to ask?” – Eric Andre

4. Are there any Eric Andre quotes that are particularly memorable?

Yes, there are many memorable Eric Andre quotes. Some of the most famous include:

“Legalize ranch!” – Eric Andre

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” – Eric Andre


In conclusion, exploring Eric Andre quotes is a fun and unique way to find inspiration and humor. Not only are they a great source of entertainment, but they can also offer valuable life advice. By incorporating Eric Andre quotes into your content, you may even boost your SEO rankings by tapping into this popular search term. So, go ahead and embrace the weirdness of Eric Andre and his hilarious quotes.

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