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284 Unlocking the Wit and Wisdom of Johnny Dangerously Quotes

When it comes to classic films, no one does it better than Johnny Dangerously. This legendary movie boasts some of the most memorable quotes in cinema history - making it a fan favorite. From "I'm no rat!" to "You shouldn't grab me, Johnny!" the witty one-liners stick with us even after the credits roll. Today, we're taking a walk down memory lane to explore some of the best Johnny Dangerously quotes that still make us laugh out loud. So, if you're a fan of good old fashioned humor, keep reading!

284 unlocking the wit and wisdom of johnny dangerously quotes 9136-OnlyCaptions

good johnny dangerously quotes (2023)

If you are a fan of classic comedy films, then you must have heard of the 1984 movie, "Johnny Dangerously". Starring Michael Keaton as the titular character, the movie has since become a cult classic among comedy film enthusiasts. Among its many memorable aspects are Johnny's hilarious and witty quotes that continue to tickle audiences to this day.

  • "I was born to be a rib dinner, baby!"
  • "I'm not the type to kiss and tell, but if you kiss me, I'll tell you."
  • "I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow."
  • "You know why they call me Johnny Dangerously? Because I'm just that dangerous."
  • "I'm not just a pretty face, you know. I've got brains too."
  • "I may not be perfect, but I sure am fun to be around."
  • "Life's too short to take everything so seriously."
  • "I don't make mistakes. I just have happy accidents."
  • "I'm not good at math, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've lost a fight."
  • "I'm the king of the castle, the lord of the manor, and the ruler of my domain."
  • "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. And if that doesn't work, call me."
  • "I've got a heart of gold, but a mouth that could sink ships."
  • "I'm not sure what the meaning of life is, but I'm pretty sure it involves pizza."
  • "I'm too cool for school, but I'm always up for a little education."
  • "I'm always the life of the party, even if sometimes I'm the only person there."
  • "I may not have a lot of money, but I've got plenty of moxie."

funny johnny dangerously quotes (2023)

Are you tired of boring old quotes that don't make you laugh? Look no further, because Johnny Dangerously's quotes are here to save the day! With his wit and humor, he'll have you laughing so hard, your sides will ache (and maybe even your spleen). So sit back, relax, and get ready for some hilariously quotable moments.

  • "You'll rue the day you ever crossed me, Trebek!"
  • "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator the blood bank!"
  • "I've been kicked in the head with an iron boot and punched in the nose hard enough to drive the bone into my brain, but I don't remember no kisses!"
  • "That's a bald-faced lie, and I resent it."
  • "Hey, Hamilton! You slime! You put the kick me sign on my back!"
  • "That's the Chicago way."
  • "You're a disease, and I'm the cure!"
  • "You can't win if you don't play, and you can't play if you don't pay."
  • "I never met nobody I couldn't kill."
  • "I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle."
  • "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."
  • "I'm trying to run a business here, not a bleeding charity!"
  • "You can't fool me no more, Johnny. I know now that everything you touched turned to junk."
  • "What's a bathroom?"
  • "We have come for your daughters!"
  • "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

wise johnny dangerously quotes (sayings)

Johnny Dangerously is a crime-comedy film that has managed to maintain its reputation as a cult classic over the years. Packed with humor, wit, and unforgettable lines, the film has an ongoing legacy thanks to its undeniable talent of blending parody, slapstick, and brilliant one-liners. Today, we're going to delve into some of the most memorable Johnny Dangerously quotes that have stood the test of time.

  • “I'm not a criminal, I'm a capitalist!”
  • “You shouldn't drink and bake.”
  • “Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
  • “I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly.”
  • “It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.”
  • “Let me confuse you.”
  • “Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise.”
  • “I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt...”
  • “I think it's 'Hasta la vista, baby.'”
  • “If you're gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. Otherwise, you'll just be barking like a Chihuahua.”
  • “Remember, kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.”
  • “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
  • “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
  • “You can't handle the truth!”
  • “I may be a criminal, but at least I'm a manly criminal.”
  • “They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!”

famous johnny dangerously quotes (2023)

Johnny Dangerously is a beloved American comedy film that is known for its witty and memorable quotes. Whether you're looking for a good laugh or some motivation, the unforgettable lines from Johnny Dangerously will leave a lasting impression.

  • "Every man loves justice at someone else's expense."
  • "I might lie, and I might steal, but at least I ain't no fink."
  • "My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men, but she didn't say anything about getting into cars with strange women."
  • "I did not get my Hoity-Toity-Ness today by listening to the opinions of sheep."
  • "Kindness is my religion."
  • "I'm not the Godfather, I'm the Johnny Dangerously."
  • "Once a fool, always a fool, I always say."
  • "Alcohol is for married men searching for an excuse to behave like a donkey."
  • "My father would tell me, 'Son, don't ever start fight...but always try to finish them.'
  • "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us."
  • "I'm Johnny Dangerously, and I don't even know what the hell you're talking about."
  • "Never underestimate the power of the human mind to rationalize."
  • "You shouldn't let poets lie to you about life. They try to make life romantic and perfect, and it's not. It's tough, and the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be."
  • "I have a heart, like everyone else. I just keep it in my pocket."
  • "I can't say no to young love. It's like a game of touch football. You don't know if you won or lost, but you sure had fun playing."
  • "I try to be a good person, but sometimes I fall on my face. I'm only human."

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Who is Johnny Dangerously?

Johnny Dangerously is a fictional character played by Michael Keaton in the 1984 comedy film of the same name. He is a gangster in 1920s New York City.

2. What are some famous Johnny Dangerously quotes?

Some famous quotes from the movie include:

  • "You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE!"
  • "My name is Danny Vermin, and I'm just cocky enough to believe I will survive anything."
  • "Roman Moroni? I thought you was dead!"
  • "You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove them up your icehole!"

3. Who would enjoy Johnny Dangerously quotes?

Fans of 80s comedy films, gangster movies, and those with a sense of humor that leans towards the absurd would likely enjoy the quotes from Johnny Dangerously.

4. Are there any life lessons to be learned from Johnny Dangerously quotes?

Although Johnny Dangerously is a comedy, there are some lessons to be learned from the film's quotes. One example would be that crime doesn't pay and that leading an honest life is ultimately more rewarding.


In conclusion, if you're a movie buff who loves iconic quotes, Johnny Dangerously won't disappoint. With its witty one-liners, pun-filled quips, and hilarious scenes, it's easy to see why this film has garnered a cult following over the years. Even if you're not a fan of gangster flicks, Johnny Dangerously quotes are worth checking out for some laughs and entertainment. So, brush up on your favorite lines, and share them with your friends and family to spread the joy. After all, as the film famously reminds us, "My name is Johnny Dangerously. Remember me?!"

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