In cinema, certain films leave an indelible mark for their captivating storytelling and the memorable and often hilarious quotes they bestow upon us. One such gem in cinematic comedy is "Drop Dead Gorgeous." This cult classic mockumentary takes us on a side-splitting journey through the world of beauty pageants, filled with eccentric characters and uproarious moments.
As we delve into this collection of "Drop Dead Gorgeous quotes," we'll not only relish the comedic brilliance of the film but also uncover the pearls of wisdom hidden amidst the laughter. From sharp-witted one-liners to satirical observations, these quotes remind us that even in the most outrageous situations, humor can be a powerful tool for shedding light on the quirks and foibles of our society.
Drop Dead Gorgeous Quotes (2024)
Prepare to burst into laughter as we dive into the hilariously absurd and unforgettable world of "Drop Dead Gorgeous." This cult classic mockumentary film takes a satirical look at the competitive world of beauty pageants, offering a barrage of witty one-liners and comically sharp observations. As we explore these "Drop Dead Gorgeous quotes," you'll find yourself chuckling and pondering the amusing intricacies of beauty contests, small-town life, and the unforgettable characters that grace the screen.
"In Mount Rose, we don't swallow. We're girls!"
"I've got a compass in my stomach, and it's pointing to you."
"Just 'cause I'm a Christian don't make me a bible-thumper."
"I'm not pretty, and I'm rich as hell!"
"We are all very proud of you, Amber. You're just the kind of citizen-candidate our Mount Rose needs."
"I'm so angry I could scream... in fact, I think I will."
"I always try to use one thought-provoking word per interview, like 'safety,' or 'innocence,' or 'pickle.'"
"People always say, 'Jen, you should be a model.' And I usually smile and say, 'You're right because I am so pretty.'"
"Oh, and by the way, you must watch your back because Lisa and I are gonna bury you."
"What's your idea of a perfect date?"
"Oh, that's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot or cold, all you need is a light jacket."
"That's so cute, they look like little lezzies."
"How did I end up with such a lovely daughter?"
"I've been convicted of two D.W.I.s, and I've been lucky enough not to have been involved in a hit-and-run fatal."
"I guess I should have gone to college."
"You're just coming to see what a real loser looks like."
"I know, I've got my lesbian glasses on. I can't see a damn thing."
"Look, Amber, I know that you're not going to be a prostitute or anything. But you're a pretty girl, and you're smart. And that's more than I ever was."
"And, for the talent portion of the competition, I will be doing ventriloquism."
"I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis."
"I was gonna wear that."
"You're just like a big ol' slice of apple pie, and I'm real hungry."
"I guess if I had to have a guilty pleasure, it would be...cleaning."
"That is sweet of you. So sweet."
"The only things I do in this town are church and bingo."
"Oh, cheer up, Clarice. The truth is, you're lucky. You don't have to play this game 'cause you're already a winner."
"I got a crow to pick with you!"
"It's been my dream ever since I was a child to swim with dolphins. Thanks to my special friend Lisa Swenson, who helped me get here today."
"And if the judges really believe that a pint-sized, brain-dead, teeny-bopper like Amber Atkins is gonna be handed the Miss Teenage Hairspray crown, then they are fools."
"What you up to, jackass?"
"It's the sign! What's the sign? Is it the sign, Mom?"
"It's no biggie, Dad."
"I am just a cheap floozy."
"We know that we cannot compete with pageant gowns, so we will be wearing sashes and berets."
"We're practicing our talent, and I'm also volunteering as a one-girl valet service."
"You know what's funny? On the way here, we sang a song...It was in tune and everything."
"I don't wear bras. They cut off the circulation in my arms."
"What are you gonna do when you win, Lisa?"
"I know, and then the carpet would've clashed with the drapes."
"Might as well bring it down. I'm getting too old for this."
"I'm getting sick and tired of cleaning up your shit, Louise."
"I'm not talkin' about you, sweetheart. You're Daddy's little girl."
"You little brainwashed idiot."
"My dad's a recovering alcoholic, and it hasn't been easy, especially for him. He's learning to live with my mom now. But sometimes, he does still fall off the wagon."
"Lisa, honey, if you're gonna smoke, I'd rather you do it in the house."
"Let's hear it for the girl with the name so nice, she got it twice. Lisa Lisa."
"Wanna hear my new motto?"
"You just know that someday that's gonna happen."
"And remember, when the judge asks you why you became a lesbian, just tell 'em you wanted to be a lumberjack."
"Hey! I'm representing a person here!"
"The heck is this 'To Wong Foo'? There's no Chinamen in that movie."
"He's as useless as a poopie-flavored lollipop."
"Oh, darn. Well, can we catch it tomorrow, then?"
"That's okay. You know, I think I just wanna go home."
"Oh, I just love rock 'n' roll."
"You're such a fucking hypocrite!"
"You're living proof that God has a really twisted sense of humor."
"I have a nickname for her, too, but it's a little bit of a stretch."
"I am Miss Mount Rose, and I am a contestant in the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant."
"Hi, Mom. Have you seen my sash?"
"It's all that polyester. There's a spark and your history."
"Don't you people ever talk about anything else?"
"You go first. You've got a car, you know."
"What the hell are you looking at?"
"Oh, it's probably just water weight."
"So, what's the sitch?"
"What the heck is goin' on here?"
"You're a cheap slut who's getting married in a toilet."
"This is a theater of talent, not a peep show."
"Oh, I don't care; what can they do to me?"
"Why do people always say 'no offense' right before offending you?"
"Stop it! You're an embarrassment to your father and me."
"You'll have to excuse me, I've been sick."
"Gosh, they seem so normal."
"We all thought you'd died, but then your mom showed us the note from the doctor."
"Are you okay?"
"What's goin' on? What's happening?"
"Why is she okay? Is she okay?"
"She seems to be fine."
"Okay, everyone, just stay calm. Everything's gonna be okay."
"The building's on fire!"
"We gotta get out of here!"
"Oh, my God! It's gonna blow!"
"She's so stinkin' cute."
"Let's move it, folks!"
"I'm feelin' hot."
"Oh, great! Just great!"
"And that's how I got kicked out of the Lutheran choir."
"Hey, watch it, Louise. You're getting it all over me."
"Oh, that is so pretty."
"It's beautiful."
"Hey, I wanna know something."
"Did your mom and dad love each other?"
"Okay, so what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what did your mom do? Did she leave?"
"That's awful."
"Can I help you, officer?"
"I can't see!"
"I can't breathe!"
"I'm okay, Mom!"
"I'm sorry, I just lost my concentration. I just don't know what to do."
"That is so scary."
"I was just so tired. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"I thought I was dying."
"Amber, is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, everything's great. Great."
"I'm all right."
"Oh, God! Oh, God! You guys! Oh, God! The smoke is really bad! You guys, the smoke is bad!"
In the delightful "Drop Dead Gorgeous" world, humor knows no bounds, and the absurdity of beauty pageants is hilariously exposed. As we wrap up this journey through the film's memorable moments, it's clear that "Drop Dead Gorgeous quotes" are not just lines; they are gems of comedy that continue to shine brightly. From witty one-liners to outrageous situations, this cult classic has left an indelible mark on our hearts and funny bones.
These quotes remind us that humor can be a powerful tool to address complex social issues, such as the obsession with beauty and the lengths people go to for success. "Drop Dead Gorgeous" may be a mockumentary, but its satire hits home in more ways than one. So, in the spirit of Mount Rose's teen princess pageant, let's crown these quotes as the reigning champions of comedy and celebrate the laughter they bring to our lives.
