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900+ Derry Girls Quotes (2024) Hilarious Gems Unveiled

In the world of television, certain shows have a unique charm that captures the hearts of viewers with their wit, humor, and relatable characters. One such show is "Derry Girls," a hilarious coming-of-age series set against the backdrop of the Northern Ireland conflict during the 1990s. While the show's witty dialogues and memorable moments have made it a fan favorite, it's not just the storyline that has left a lasting impression. In this article, we'll explore the world of "Derry Girls Quotes" and how they have not only tickled our funny bones but also offered insightful glimpses into the lives of the characters and the turbulent times they lived in.

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Derry Girls Quotes (2024)

"Derry Girls" is renowned for its sharp wit and unforgettable dialogues that bring the characters and their world to life. In this compilation, we've gathered unique and memorable quotes from the series that will not only make you laugh but also provide a glimpse into the humor and heart of this beloved show.

  • "We're not bad people. We're just a product of our traumatic environment." - Erin
  • "You can't be gay. You don't even know what gay is." - James
  • "Just because you're sad doesn't mean you have to be boring." - Sister Michael
  • "People have to work. You can't just lie about the house all day. Like a sack of spuds." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not being blasphemous, but I have it on very good authority that Jesus did not like jazz." - Aunt Sarah
  • "The President of the United States. The most important man in the world. And what's he doing? He's pointing at Bill Clinton." - Sister Michael
  • "You know what they say, Mary. The family that prays together, stays together. And the family that doesn't... probably doesn't." - Erin's Dad
  • "I'm the wee English fella from the big city. I don't know the ways of the world." - James
  • "The only good Catholics are lapsed Catholics. Or sexy priests." - Clare
  • "It's a free country, Kieran. Except, well, it's not really, is it?" - Sister Michael
  • "We're going to a 'peace picnic.' I'm not exactly sure what that is, but it sounds... well, not peaceful." - Erin
  • "It's like trying to find a needle in a stack of other needles." - Michelle
  • "I'm driving the bus, and the bus is going to wherever I want it to go." - Erin
  • "We're in the middle of a war zone, James. If they're not killing each other, they're killing themselves." - Erin
  • "The Protestants do this, the Catholics do that. It's like the f***ing hokey cokey up here." - Ma Mary
  • "Just because you're blonde doesn't mean you're German." - Sister Michael
  • "Life's too short to drink weak tea." - Jenny Joyce
  • "We do mock wedding for the craic. You'll be my husband because you're already my b****." - Michelle
  • "I can't just walk into a shop and ask for a bomb, can I?" - Orla
  • "What is this, Russia? You can't just go around arresting people for no reason." - Granda Joe
  • "That's not your bag, Erin. It's heavy. You can't even lift a cup." - Michelle
  • "It's called affirmative action, Erin. It's like a leg-up for Catholics." - Sister Michael
  • "I'm not being rude, Erin. I'm just saying that his mummy never loved him enough." - Michelle
  • "I swear on my ma's life, I've never been on a bus before." - Clare
  • "The sash my father wore, only it's not a sash, it's a hanky." - Jenny Joyce
  • "You're not really a fella, you're a wee lesbian." - Michelle
  • "They wouldn't know a good time if it jumped up and smacked them on the a**." - Erin's Dad
  • "Every time a car passes, I feel like I'm in a parade." - James
  • "There's always a joker in the pack. And, well, Erin, you're our joker." - Clare
  • "If we had to endure that, I'd definitely have a problem with the North." - Michelle
  • "It's a very delicate balancing act, being a woman in a man's world." - Sister Michael
  • "No one invites the Protestants. It's like the Hunger Games." - Erin
  • "I've always wanted to be seen as more than just a pretty face." - Michelle
  • "Are you trying to get yourself killed? You'll end up in a coffin before your 50th birthday." - Granda Joe
  • "Don't be stupid, Clare. We're not robbing a bank; we're robbing a shop." - Erin
  • "I've heard some bad versions of that song in my time, but that was by far the worst." - Sister Michael
  • "That's the great thing about music, Mary. It brings people together, regardless of their differences." - Jenny Joyce
  • "This is your moment, Erin. Seize it like a big, orange, Protestant." - Michelle
  • "I'm Catholic, which is the best religion. No offense." - Orla
  • "I can't have the old b*****ds thinking they can take over the world." - Ma Mary
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Also Read: Schitts Creek Quotes

  • "I'd rather be a dog with a handbag than be in Derry." - Erin's Dad
  • "I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career." - James
  • "The peace process, Clare. It's all about the peace process." - Jenny Joyce
  • "This is a Catholic home, Michelle. We don't have jazz records." - Ma Mary
  • "I'm not being racist, but some of the kids in this school are actually from Derry." - Sister Michael
  • "It's just a few half-naked, good-looking men. What's the harm?" - Clare
  • "I mean, what's the worst that could happen? We'll get caught, arrested, and spend the rest of our lives in prison." - Michelle
  • "You can't just say 'Africa' and expect people to know what you mean." - Sister Michael
  • "Protestants are a different breed, Mary. They live on a diet of soil and broken glass." - Ma Mary
  • "We should be out there protesting or doing something political." - Clare
  • "No one's dying, James. It's just a bit of fun." - Erin
  • "It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but instead of a needle, it's a complete lack of musical talent." - Sister Michael
  • "That's not a bomb, that's a backpack. You can't arrest someone for carrying a backpack." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not being stupid, Erin. I'm being practical." - Michelle
  • "We're not here to educate Protestants, Erin. We're here to win the talent show." - Clare
  • "You can't just throw someone out of a moving car, Erin. It's not right." - James
  • "Being a Derry Girl is a bit like being in a war, except there's no guns and it's not actually a war." - Erin
  • "We can't let them take over our culture, our heritage, our hall." - Jenny Joyce
  • "I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens." - Sister Michael
  • "I've been thinking, Erin. We're in the middle of a political nightmare. Maybe we should be doing something political." - Clare
  • "I'm not being selfish, Erin. I'm being selfless." - Michelle
  • "I'm not being dramatic, Erin. I'm being honest." - Clare
  • "It's not a costume, Erin. It's a statement." - Michelle
  • "You can't just replace a beloved pet with a sausage." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not saying he's a stalker, but he knows more about me than I do." - Clare
  • "You can't just say 'I'm a secret lesbian' and expect everything to be okay." - Erin
  • "I'm not saying I'm the greatest dancer in the world, but I'm definitely in the top one." - Michelle
  • "You can't just steal a baby and expect no one to notice." - Sister Michael
  • "I'm not saying I'm psychic, but I do have a sixth sense. It's called common sense." - Clare
  • "You can't just lie to a priest. It's a mortal sin." - Ma Mary
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  • "I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I do have a very high IQ." - Michelle
  • "You can't just call someone a moron and expect them to be okay with it." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not saying it's a conspiracy, but it's definitely a conspiracy." - Sister Michael
  • "You can't just eat a whole cake and expect to lose weight." - Jenny Joyce
  • "I'm not saying I'm a fashion icon, but I am a fashion icon." - Michelle
  • "You can't just drink a bottle of wine and expect not to have a hangover." - Clare
  • "I'm not saying it's a cover-up, but it's definitely a cover-up." - Ma Mary
  • "You can't just sing 'Teenage Kicks' at a funeral." - Erin's Dad
  • "I'm not saying I'm a role model, but I am a role model." - Sister Michael
  • "You can't just steal someone's identity and expect to get away with it." - James
  • "I'm not saying I'm the queen of Derry, but I am the queen of Derry." - Michelle
  • "You can't just throw a brick through someone's window and expect no consequences." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not saying I'm a legend, but I am a legend." - Jenny Joyce
  • "You can't just turn up at a wedding uninvited and expect to be welcomed with open arms." - Sister Michael
  • "I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I do have a very high IQ." - Ma Mary
  • "You can't just pretend to be someone else and expect people to believe it." - Erin's Dad
  • "I'm not saying it's a conspiracy, but it's definitely a conspiracy." - Clare
  • "You can't just steal a baby and expect no one to notice." - Sister Michael
  • "I'm not saying I'm psychic, but I do have a sixth sense. It's called common sense." - Jenny Joyce
  • "You can't just replace a beloved pet with a sausage." - Michelle
  • "I'm not saying he's a stalker, but he knows more about me than I do." - Erin
  • "You can't just say 'I'm a secret lesbian' and expect everything to be okay." - Granda Joe
  • "I'm not saying I'm the greatest dancer in the world, but I'm definitely in the top one." - Ma Mary
  • "You can't just say 'Africa' and expect people to know what you mean." - James
  • "I'm not being racist, but some of the kids in this school are actually from Derry." - Michelle
  • "You can't be gay. You don't even know what gay is." - Sister Michael
  • "I'm the wee English fella from the big city. I don't know the ways of the world." - Orla
  • "The only good Catholics are lapsed Catholics. Or sexy priests." - Erin
  • "It's a free country, Kieran. Except, well, it's not really, is it?" - Sister Michael
  • "We're not bad people. We're just a product of our traumatic environment." - Erin
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Also Read: Moira Rose Quotes

As we wrap up our journey through the witty and endearing world of "Derry Girls Quotes," it's clear that this beloved series has left an indelible mark on viewers worldwide. With its clever blend of humor and poignant storytelling, "Derry Girls" has managed to capture the essence of growing up amidst the turmoil of Northern Ireland in the 1990s. Through the eyes and words of its characters, the show reminds us that even in the most challenging of times, laughter can be a powerful force for resilience and connection.

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