Lenny Bruce, a groundbreaking stand-up comedian of the 1950s and '60s, was known not only for his unfiltered style but also for challenging societal norms and boundaries. His controversial acts often tackled taboo subjects, making him both a critic's nightmare and a free speech advocate's dream.
In this blog post, we dive deep into some of Lenny Bruce's most poignant and provocative quotes. Whether you're a long-time fan or just discovering him now, these words will leave you reflecting on the boundaries of comedy, society, and self-expression.
Lenny Bruce Quotes (2024)
Lenny Bruce was a groundbreaking comedian known for his sharp wit, social commentary, and fearless approach to tackling taboo subjects. His humor pushed boundaries and challenged the status quo, making him a true icon in the world of comedy. In this collection of Lenny Bruce quotes you'll find a glimpse into his irreverent and thought-provoking style.
"In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls."
"Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to Be If I Grow Up."
"Take away the right to say 'f***,' and you take away the right to say 'f*** the government.'"
"The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds."
"The liberals can understand everything, but people who don't understand them."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
"There's a higher law than the law of government. That's the law of conscience."
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
"In the end, it's just an opinion, folks, and I ain't really sure what an opinion is."
"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."
"I'm not a comedian; I'm Lenny Bruce."
"All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover."
"You can't talk about fucking in America, people say you're dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that's cool."
"If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer."
"The thing with me is, about that - about rock and all that - years and years of crate-digging, years and years of collecting music, years and years of listening to music, years and years of having kind of like a love affair with an art form, you know, I never really wanted to be a musician."
"Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' 'I dunno... it was one of those parties that got out of hand, you know.' 'We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.'"
"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."
"If you can't say 'f***,' you can't say, 'f*** the government.'"
"You got people who never read a book in their f***ing life, and they think they're going to be poets or something."
"I do use props sometimes. But it's a different kind of situation when I do. For example, I may have props in my office, which, if you looked at them, you'd see a book, a rubber band, a couple of cigars, a few magazines, and maybe an ashtray."
"I have this one little saying: when things get too heavy, just call me helium, the lightest known gas to man."
"So if you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas."
"When you're eight years old, nothing is your business."
"It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness."
"There is never enough. I Love You."
"You know what? When it comes to the subject of money... people are funny."
"I think if Jesus comes back, he's going to come back as a comedian."
"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die."
"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."
"The liberals can understand everything, but people who don't understand them."
"When you're eight years old, nothing is your business."
"In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
"I'm for the individual as opposed to the corporation. The way it is, the individual is the underdog, and with all the things a corporation has going for them, the individual comes out banged on the head. The artist is nothing. It's really tragic."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
"I don't believe in any of the earth religions. If I have to have a religion, I'll take anyone you like. I can see merits in all religions, and I can see demerits in all religions."
"The law is controlled by the few, for the few. To hell with it. The few have always had the law. I think the law is too short. What the hell is a guy gonna do in three or six months in jail? What's that gonna do to the world? You can't catch a guy six months and three months and twenty-five dollars every time he smokes pot."
"I can see where the '60s generation got their reputation. The comedy of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Cheech and Chong was revolutionary. They touched on topics that were taboo, and their humor made people think about social issues in new ways."
"Don't get me wrong, I think bikes are terrific. I own several of my own, including a trendy mountain bike. I'm just not a fanatic about them."
"People work really hard for their money, and you just want to entertain them. For me, when people go to a comedy show, they know that that's what they're going for. So, I'm not a preacher. I just want to be funny."
"I am not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire."
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
"I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can't go back. You cannot go back."
"There is no possible source of evil except good."
"You know what it is, to tell you the truth, I'm not a big believer in a person's self-worth; I really am not. I think we're all the same... I don't care what you've done, I don't care how successful you are."
"I've got a bit of a pirate obsession, I like rum."
"Never trust a label on a bottle that says 'drink me.'"
"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'"
"Masturbation is a clean, white bathroom, and it looks like a scientific laboratory."
"Real love is when you go through the toughest storm and find yourself still holding hands when you come out."
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm going to be if I grow up.'"
"My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her."
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
"Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal, and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, I'm a collision."
"The thing with me is, about that - about rock and all that - years and years of crate-digging, years and years of collecting music, years and years of listening to music, years and years of having kind of like a love affair with an art form, you know, I never really wanted to be a musician."
"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' 'I dunno... it was one of those parties that got out of hand, you know.' 'We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.'"
"I'm not a comedian; I'm Lenny Bruce."
"Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die."
"In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls."
"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."
"The liberals can understand everything, but people who don't understand them."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
"I'm for the individual as opposed to the corporation. The way it is, the individual is the underdog, and with all the things a corporation has going for them, the individual comes out banged on the head. The artist is nothing. It's really tragic."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
"I don't believe in any of the earth religions. If I have to have a religion, I'll take anyone you like. I can see merits in all religions, and I can see demerits in all religions."
"The law is controlled by the few, for the few. To hell with it. The few have always had the law. I think the law is too short. What the hell is a guy gonna do in three or six months in jail? What's that gonna do to the world? You can't catch a guy six months and three months and twenty-five dollars every time he smokes pot."
"I can see where the '60s generation got their reputation. The comedy of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Cheech and Chong was revolutionary. They touched on topics that were taboo, and their humor made people think about social issues in new ways."
"Don't get me wrong, I think bikes are terrific. I own several of my own, including a trendy mountain bike. I'm just not a fanatic about them."
"People work really hard for their money, and you just want to entertain them. For me, when people go to a comedy show, they know that that's what they're going for. So, I'm not a preacher. I just want to be funny."
"I am not a paranoid deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire."
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
"I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can't go back. You cannot go back."
"There is no possible source of evil except good."
"You know what it is, to tell you the truth, I'm not a big believer in a person's self-worth; I really am not. I think we're all the same... I don't care what you've done, I don't care how successful you are."
"I've got a bit of a pirate obsession, I like rum."
"Never trust a label on a bottle that says 'drink me.'"
"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'"
"Masturbation is a clean, white bathroom, and it looks like a scientific laboratory."
"Real love is when you go through the toughest storm and find yourself still holding hands when you come out."
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm going to be if I grow up.'"
"My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her."
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
"Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal, and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, I'm a collision."
"The thing with me is, about that - about rock and all that - years and years of crate-digging, years and years of collecting music, years and years of listening to music, years and years of having kind of like a love affair with an art form, you know, I never really wanted to be a musician."
"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' 'I dunno... it was one of those parties that got out of hand, you know.' 'We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.'"
"I'm not a comedian; I'm Lenny Bruce."
"Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die."
"In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls."
"The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter."
"The liberals can understand everything, but people who don't understand them."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
"I'm for the individual as opposed to the corporation. The way it is, the individual is the underdog, and with all the things a corporation has going for them, the individual comes out banged on the head. The artist is nothing. It's really tragic."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
"I don't believe in any of the earth religions. If I have to have a religion, I'll take anyone you like. I can see merits in all religions, and I can see demerits in all religions."
"The law is controlled by the few, for the few. To hell with it. The few have always had the law. I think the law is too short. What the hell is a guy gonna do in three or six months in jail? What's that gonna do to the world? You can't catch a guy six months and three months and twenty-five dollars every time he smokes pot."
"I can see where the '60s generation got their reputation. The comedy of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Cheech and Chong was revolutionary. They touched on topics that were taboo, and their humor made people think about social issues in new ways."
"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."
In conclusion, the words of Lenny Bruce have left an indelible mark on the world of comedy and social commentary. Through his fearless and irreverent humor, he challenged societal norms and provoked thought on a wide range of topics. Lenny Bruce's Quotes continue to inspire comedians, artists, and free thinkers to question the status quo and speak truth to power.
