1900+ Petty Captions For Instagram (2024) Baddie, Good, Ex

Petty captions for Instagram are the best. They're perfect for when you don't have anything clever to say or if you just want to be a little bit mean. Petty captions can also turn around and make someone feel better about themselves - that's an added bonus. In this blog post, we'll be sharing some of our favorite petty Instagram captions. Hopefully, you can find a few that will make your day - even better than it already is!

A caption is one of those awesome things that can turn a picture from good to great... and even better than that, it's so much fun! Captions can be anything really - silly, mean, or clever. Petty captions are a different kind of captioning that is popular on the internet right now - they're cool but also sort of mean.

Use our list to find a few petty captions that are perfect for your own photos - or get inspiration from them so you can come up with some of your very own. Petty Instagram captions aren't just fun; they're also super easy to use! All it takes is adding the caption below any photo, and voila... instant pettiness.

Baddie Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Captions are an awesome way of adding context or humor to a photo. Petty Captions are the perfect caption style for when you don't have anything clever to say but still want people to think that you're cool.

Baddie Petty captions For Instagram make people smile, even if they're also a little mean. In this article, we'll be sharing some of the best Baddie Petty captions for your own photos or as inspiration to come up with your very own captions!

• "Living rent-free in their minds."
• "Not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm perfectly fine with that."
• "I'm trending in your thoughts."
• "Sippin' on confidence, no sugar needed."
• "My vibe speaks louder than your words."
• "I'm a limited edition, can't find me everywhere."
• "Too glam to give a damn."
• "My life, my rules, my attitude."
• "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
• "Proof that I can do selfies better than you."
• "My heels and standards are always high."
• "My circle is small but my attitude is boss-sized."
• "My horoscope said it's my season to shine."
• "I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome."
• "Confidence level: Selfie with no filter."
• "I'm a vibe you can't find anywhere else."
• "I'm not a backup plan; I'm a first choice."
• "I don't chase dreams, I manifest them."
• "My life is a circus and I'm the ringmaster."
• "Judge me when you're perfect. Oh wait..."
• "I don't hold grudges, I carry a hit list."
• "I'm a beauty with a side of petty."
• "My comeback game is stronger than your shade."
• "Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane."
• "I'm not anti-social, I'm selectively social."
• I'm a lover, not a fighter...but you can fight me if it's going to get us closer together.
• You're not a mistake, you were just conceived in the wrong generation.
• I'm looking for a partner in crime, and you fit the bill.
• If you don't like my selfies, then you can scroll by.
• If you're not following me on Instagram, you're missing out.
• Warning: I'm not responsible for your feelings getting hurt.
• I'm not a player, I just crush a lot.
• Don't be fooled by my filter, I'm still ugly.
• I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
• I'm not short, I'm fun size.
• I'm not a selfie queen, but I'm pretty darn close.
• I'm the reason the term "selfie" was created.
• I've got 99 problems, but you won't be one.
• My friends think I'm into you, but what they don't know is I just want to be friends with your wallet.
• You're rich and I'm hot, so we should probably just date each other.
• I don't know what to do with my hands... oh wait! Now I remember - your face!
• You can keep me warm at night… If you promise not to wake up right away.
• You're the only reason that I've been able to successfully block out all other men from my life.
• I'm a single mom and I know you're going to treat me right.
• I don't hate your career, but I do wish it was more lucrative for me.
• You make the perfect accessory - never leave home without you!
• I love my new family - you, me and your money.
• I need a man that can keep up with all of my spending habits...can you?
• All I want for Christmas is the D...and maybe some cufflinks too.
• I love you more than the Kardashians love each other.
• I'm not looking for a man, but if I was it would be someone exactly like you!
• It's okay that your credit score is subprime - mine is too.
• If I'm your property then you're my property…and that's just how it should be!
• I love spending time with you because when we're apart, I miss out on things like rent payments.
• You can take me to nice places
• You can't buy someone's love, but I'm willing to let you try anyway.
• I didn't think it was possible for my standards of men to get any lower... until now.
• So what if I have standards? At least I have standards.
• I'm in the market for a new sugar daddy - want to get on my list?
• [Insert the name of celebrity] style, but twice as expensive!
• Why date one person when you can be dating two people without the extra work required by monogamy?
• Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, but also don't hate me because I'm rich.
• I want to make it clear that I won't put it out unless you get me something nice first… What are your thoughts on an engagement ring?
• [insert name] 's got nothing on you!
• Hello boys... pay attention now - this is the only time you'll ever hear me say this.
• I'm not a gold digger, I just don't like having to pay bills...ever!
• All of my clothes cost more than your rent.
• If it wasn't for men with money, women wouldn't need to make up or perfume…or Instagram.
• I'm not a gold digger, but I am digging for your wallet right now.
• The only thing my love is going to cost you is more money than you can afford!
• I don't want much - I just need everything.
• "You look good in that suit!" "Thanks, so can I borrow your credit card
• I was wondering why everyone around me is so much better looking than I am... now it makes sense!
• Do not read this caption before bedtime or the boogie man will come for you… and he'll have my face on.
• You're hotter at night when you're asleep.
• If I can't take your pictures, no one else will be able to either!
• I might not love you in the morning, but after a good night sleep - that's another story.
• You're like a parking spot - you're there all day, every day but no one actually wants to park in your sh*t.
• I'm not sleeping with you tonight... I just wanted another reason to cuddle up next to my pillow!
• If it's too loud, then you're too f*cking old.

Petty Instagram Captions For Ex (2024)

It's the little things that make a difference. Petty Captions for Instagram are just one of them! They're perfect when you want to be a little bit mean but don't actually want people to think that you're too harsh or rude.

Petty Instagram Captions for Ex are a fun way of taking the edge off without actually being mean. They make people smile, and they're also easy to use - all it takes is adding one below your photo.

• I'm not heartless, I've just learned how to use my heart less.
• I'm not bitter, I'm just better.
• I'm too busy living my best life to worry about you.
• I know I'm not perfect, but I'm worth it.
• I don't need your approval to be happy.
• Get your own back
• Maybe I'll be popular now...maybe.
• No one even noticed you were gone #IJustDidntCare
• It wasn't me!
• So much for being a good friend.
• I'm just going to pretend that we're still friends.
• I hope you like the new me better than the old one!
• Saving all my likes for myself from now on.
• I'm sorry I was so much better than you!
• I'm sunshine mixed with a little hurricane
• Never liked them anyway
• I'm much too busy doing my own thing to be bothered with you
• Forgive and forget!
• Sucks for you, good luck finding a new one.
• I just do me and you should try it sometime.
• I'm better than you
• Took you long enough to figure that out.
• Much easier this way!
• I'm done with all your games #gameover
• Some things are just not meant to be...meant for me anyway.
• Hey, I told them it wasn't my fault so don't blame me!
• I don't need you or anyone else to make me feel better.
• Who needs friends when I got myself?
• It's always good until it goes bad...good riddance, I say #GoodRiddance.
• You'll never guess who I'm dating now...not you though.
• Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art prettier and way less hot...so no!
• I'm up for grabs now, you better act quickly if you want me.
• Thank God we're not friends anymore!
• Was that all?
• Cheers, I owed myself one anyway...you didn't even notice!
• I'm never gonna let you down
• Finally, I get to live my life.
• They were the best of times and they'll be your worst of times...ha!
• You don't even know what I did.
• I am so over this friendship. Seriously? You thought we would still be friends?
• Thank God I don't have to deal with you anymore!
• I was just about to tell you that I had my own plans anyway...
• I'm not sorry.
• It doesn't matter how many friends they have, as long as they stay loyal!
• You think it's over? It is now!
• We don't need this friendship anyway, so why bother continuing.
• She's just a phase, it'll blow over soon...right?
• "Yeah, we used to be friends." - "Oh yeah?" -"Yeah but then she said this one thing and well..."
• I'm not sorry, I never liked you anyway!
• You're no longer on my list of people to care about...bye-bye now 🙂
• I don't know what you did, but I'm sure it's your fault!
• It was all her idea #NotMyFault
• I wonder if people would still like me now...hmm.
• Sucks to be you! *evil laugh*

Petty Instagram Captions For Selfies (2024)

A selfie can say a thousand words... and so does the caption you choose to go with it. Petty Captions for Instagram selfies are perfect when you want people to think that you're cool but also don't mind taking some time out of your day to make someone else feel better about themselves.

Petty Instagram Captions for Selfies are the perfect caption style if you just want to have some fun. They can be used on any selfie, so try them out and see what happens! Try adding one below your next selfie for an added sense of coolness...

• I don't take selfies... I take selfies.
• If a mirror looked like my Instagram, would you still look at me?
• I'm only here for the likes.
• I'm all about that bass, no treble.
• Live life like you're already famous.
• Just another day in paradise... with me!
• I might delete this later.
• I'm fabulous, why shouldn't my selfie be?
• There's too much blood in my alcohol stream.
• I like to pose with things that I buy... and then eat them.
• Fashion: it doesn't have to make sense as long as you look hot doing it!
• When life gives me lemons, I take pictures of them.
• I'm not here to impress you... but myself!
• Everyday is selfie day with me.
• Life's too short for bad filters and ugly angles.
• Don't hate me because I'm fabulous. HATE ME BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND THINKS I'M BETTER THAN YOU.
• I'm not doing this for the likes, but thanks in advance!
• If your selfie game is weak... don't worry about it... mine's non-existent too.
• When you take a selfie and no one comments on it because they're all staring at your beautiful face.
• I'm not that girl, the one that is super popular... I just happen to be prettier than everyone else!
• Yes, this selfie was taken at a funeral... so what? Don't pretend you weren't thinking about doing it too.
• It's hard being perfect... but someone has to do it.
• I'm not saying my life is perfect... but I am fabulous!
• I'm not laughing at you... I'm laughing with me.
• I need more selfies to post so excuse the random pictures of my feet today!
• Selfies are for people who aren't afraid to show themselves naked.
• If a mirror looked like my Instagram, would you still look at me?
• Life's too short for boring selfies. Take one with me instead of staring at your phone screen all day long!
• My selfie game is strong because everything else in my life is weak.
• Don't hate on me because you can't handle me.
• I don't care what people think about my selfies... they're awesome! So there!
• You only live once, so why not take a thousand selfies?
• People say I have no life because all I do is take pictures of myself on social media... but that's just me living my life.
• I can't help it if I'm so hot that no one wants to look away from me!
• People say I don't take selfies... but they're just too scared of how good looking I am to come close enough for a picture.
• I don't need a filter... I'm already perfect!
• I'm not that girl, the one with no friends... I just happen to have more followers than her.
• Don't hate my selfies because they're flawless!
• You can think you're better than me all day long... but at least my selfie game is strong enough for everyone to see it.
• I don't need a mirror... I just look at my selfies and that's good enough for me.
• Selfie: taking pictures of yourself to show off your amazing life!
• I don't take selfies because the world needs more photos of myself, but because I can and it makes me happy!
• Don't hate on my selfie game... you don't even have a game!
• I'm not that girl, the one who is always taking selfies on Facebook. I just happen to be prettier than her too!
• I'm beautiful and my selfie proves it. Get over yourself already because everyone else has accepted it too.
• Can someone please photoshop my selfie? I'm so sick of seeing myself on social media...
• I don't take selfies because the world needs more photos of me. It's just that I can and it makes me happy!
• If I took a selfie every time someone said something negative about me, my selfies would be in the thousands.
• I'm not here to impress you... but myself!
• The camera loves me and so does everyone else who's lucky enough to see my face on their phone screen.
• This is what it feels like when someone hates your selfies.
• I'm awesome, give me a selfie!
• Selfie queen... coming straight from my mind to your phone screen! *cue "You're welcome" meme*
• My life is so bad that all my selfies are in black and white. *cue "That escalated quickly meme*
• Life's too short for boring selfies. Take one with me instead of staring at your phone screen all day long!

Best Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

Captions are a great addition to any photo - but sometimes it can be hard to get the perfect caption that really reflects your personality. That's where Best Petty Captions for Instagram come in! They're easy, fun, and they make people smile... what more could you ask for?

Best Petty Captions For Instagram don't have to be mean, but they do have to be super cool. A lot of the time, people use them in a funny way and completely turn around what could have been a bad situation.

• I'm not mean, I just tell it like it is.
• If you don't look good in the morning, what makes you think anybody else would?
• Stay cheesy my friends!
• Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
• I'm not perfect, but I could pretend.
• I don't trust people who don't laugh at my jokes. Every single one of them is funny when you think about it!
• I'm not a bad kid; I just like to be bad sometimes.
• If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!
• People say the truth hurts, but it's usually scars that hurt more than anything else.
• I only wear black because it covers everything and hides nothing.
• I'm sarcastic. I know, it's a bad habit of mine...
• I won't get lost in the world because my eyeliner is permanent!
• It's okay if you don't like me... I'm used to it.
• You can always count on me for a good laugh!
• The struggle is real, and that's why we drink coffee in the morning - or whenever we need an energy boost.
• I know what you did last summer and I will not forget about it!
• My only problem with glass is it's empty. I like things to be full... of wine that is 😀
• I'm not perfect, but I do have a good selfie game!
• I don't trust people who can't dance. Everyone can dance... it's just about finding the right beat.
• Don't try to be someone else… you are amazing just as you are!
• You will never understand my style unless you've been me for a day!
• I'm that one person who doesn't care what everyone else thinks about them. If you don't like it, then I really can't help you with that...
• Sometimes problems are created just so we have an excuse to eat ice cream in bed while watching Netflix all night long.
• I'm not lazy, I'm just really good at doing nothing.
• I may be a little bit of a drama queen but it's all in your best interest!
• Don't hate me because I know the truth!
• Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
• I like to sleep with a pillow over my face because it feels like I'm sleeping in space... and that's pretty cool!
• If you can't beat 'em, join 'em... but then later realize they suck, so you try to beat them again.
• I don't need friends, I have wine!
• I like to think of life as a glass of champagne - enjoy it while it lasts and doesn't stress the small stuff.
• Don't hate me because I'm popular... HATE ME BECAUSE YOU AIN'T POPULAR LIKE ME!
• I don't wear makeup to impress boys; I wear it so when you take my picture, there are no wrinkles on my face... okay maybe a little bit of mascara too.
• Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... but if you do - here is some ice for that burn!
• There's nothing wrong with being who you are... unless of course, everyone else is super boring.
• Don't hate me because I'm popular, but please feel free to complain about it!
• Let's not waste time getting to know each other, let's just get straight into the sexxxyyy!

Good Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

We all have those times where we just don't know what to say or how to caption a photo. That's why Good Petty Captions for Instagram are the perfect solution! They're easy, they make people smile, and you can also use them as inspiration so that you can come up with your very own captions in the future...

Good Petty Captions For Instagram are the best kind of captions because they're clever, funny and really easy to use. They make people laugh but also show off your sense of humour at the same time - what's not to love? Here is the list of different petty captions that you can use for your own photos.

• I'm not here to make friends.
• You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
• It's called karma because it comes back around!
• I'm just really happy with my life right now.
• Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.
• I'm shaking my head and holding back the tears.
• I've got 99 problems but a beach ain't one!
• My alter ego is funnier than me.
• Be yourself, there's no one better!
• I'm not trying to be sexy, I just can't help it.
• I like my coffee like I like my men...hot and black!
• She's so beautiful she doesn't even try anymore.
• I'm just chilling in bed still not over summer break yet.
• I can't even deal right now, I need a moment!
• It's called fashion because it goes out of style eventually.
• The struggle is real guys...the struggle is real.
• Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
• My life is so hard, I wish it was winter break already!
• I can't even deal with how good looking I am today... it's annoying!
• You can take my picture if you want, just let me do something with my hair first because this isn't how people normally see me -haha.
• "Oh, I didn't see you there." -said no one ever!
• I'm just going to leave this here...no big deal.
• "Oh it's fine if we go out today," said no one EVER!
• If my life was a movie, then people would think the music score is too dramatic, but hey, it's my life and I love it!
• I'm just going to leave this here, that's all.
• "Oh we don't need a filter for these smiles" - said no one ever!
• "Just ignore her she had some wine before coming over." -said no one EVER!! (or ever...whichever you prefer)
• I'm not trying to be a creep, I just can't help it... it's my life, and you'll have to deal with me!
• I've been waiting for my life to begin, but I think it may have already ended!
• Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.
• I don't know what's going on right now, but I'm pretty sure it's not good.
• I've got 99 problems and they all stem from my terrible boyfriend!
• I love the person who thinks this is an actual quote by me... don't ruin this for them, please?
• My sense of humour doesn't always translate well to text...
• It's not my fault that I've been blessed with this type of personality.
• I'm the person who puts 'funny' as their occupation or job title on social media profiles for a reason, okay?
• I've got my PJs on, I'm ready for bed...so if you'll excuse me!
• I'm just trying to find the person who put all of these bad captions in here.
• Let's be honest here guys, we can't all look like models and that's okay.
• I'm just trying to get this strapless dress to work... it's not working.
• I've got 99 problems but I'm glad you're not one of them!
• It doesn't matter how many times I try, some things are never meant for me!

Petty Finsta Captions (2024)

A Finsta is short for fake Instagram - it's basically an account that you have made to pretend like you are perfect but actually aren't. These are the accounts where people post photos of their amazing lives and seem to be living this great life all of the time...

Petty Finsta Captions are a great way of poking fun at the people who seem to be perfect and think that their lives are amazing. They make people laugh, but they also show off your sense of humour...

Petty Finsta Captions aren't always mean, though - sometimes it's okay just to poke some harmless fun! Try adding one below your next photo for an added sense of coolness...

• I always look flawless, but not today.
• Everything that kills me makes me feel alive!
• Life is too short to be anything other than happy.
• Good things come to those who wait - and also those who don't live their lives on finsta accounts.
• I don't always wake up like this.
• I'm a very busy person, but I can fit in time for my #finstagram account - that's how fabulous it is!
• I don't dress smart to impress you.
• Yes, the problem isn't you. It's your thinking.
• I don't have to be famous to be successful.
• I don't mind being underrated by someone who doesn't know me well.
• No revenge is the best revenge.
• If you think I am the problem, you are the problem creator.
• I'm always honest coz I don't care about someone hating me.
• The lion doesn't turn when a small dog barks.
• I'm not fabulous. I'm simple.
• It was never about the destination, as long as you looked flawless along the way.
• The grass may be greener on the other side, but I'm okay where I am.
• I'd rather be a little sad than fake happy all the time.
• I look perfect, but I didn't feel that way today.
• 90% of me is photoshopped - the other 90% just has bad lighting...
• I'm so busy saving lives all day, I don't have time to fix my makeup!
• A smile doesn't mean that someone likes you.
• Always believe in yourself. But I'll believe in myself.
• Be brave. Make them curious.
• Sore today. Strong tomorrow.
• There's always a wild side to an innocent face.
• Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.
• You can call me queen bee.
• Focus on success. Not gossiping.
• The lion doesn't turn when a small dog barks.
• The reason you don't see my intelligence is the same reason you don't see my underwear.
• Yes, the problem isn't you. It's your thinking.

Cute Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

A lot of the time, people use cute captions for Instagram because they want to show off their softer side. Sometimes it's okay just to be super soft and not pretend like you're this strong.

Cute Petty Captions For Instagram are a great way of showing off your sense of humour and also your softer side. They can be used on photos with friends or family, so try them out!

Try adding one below your next photo for an added sense of coolness...

• Being awkward is just another way to say that I'm paying attention.
• Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you're not amazing.
• It's okay to be weird - in fact, it's kind of awesome!
• I'm the best me I can possibly be today... and that is more than good enough for me.
• "I wouldn't chase you because I'm the catch."
• "I'm a vibe that no one else can replace."
• Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.
• There's always a wild side to an innocent face.
• Sore today. Strong tomorrow.
• Queens do not compete with hoes.
• Proof that I can do selfies better than you.
• Life isn't perfect. But my Hair is!
• If you're honestly happy, fuck what other people think.
• I know I'm lucky that I'm so cute.
• I am Mine before anyone else.
• Dime piece.
• "Life goes on, with or without you."
• "Not everybody has to like me. I can't force you to have good taste."
• "She has fire in her soul and grace in her heart."
• "Take me as I am, or watch me as I go."
• "I'm the truth, so hold your lies."
• You don't need a king to be a queen.
• You can't afford my Swag Bitch! #selfie
• You can call me queen bee.
• "The only way you'll win is if I quit."
• "The same ol' me, just a little bit more fabulous."
• "You're never going to have me."

Petty Breakup Captions For Instagram (2024)

A lot of the time, people will post photos with captions that are super deep and meaningful. This is because they want other people to know just how much it hurt them, even if everyone can see from looking at their face...

Petty Breakup Captions For Instagram make a breakup seem like no big deal - which obviously it isn't, but sometimes it can feel like the end of the world. They make people laugh, and they also show off your sense of humour...

• I need a break from today.
• I hate you.
• I'm not okay.
• I wish I was dead.
• Take me back, pls?
• What do I have to say just to get you back?
• I'm sorry for being a bad partner.
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, please come home.
• It's over between us, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends... right?
• Maybe we can Netflix and Chill tomorrow?
• It's okay - I'll go cry into my pillow for you... Nobody needs to know that it was your fault though!
• I don't have time for the drama, but thanks anyway.
• Walking away from the situation doesn't mean that I'm weak, it means that I respect myself.
• Wisdom is knowing how little we actually know... and stupidity is trying to act as you do!
• Be free.
• Break up
• I am trying to kill you inside of me, so I can live.
• Let the waves crash and the sun is set and the boy leave
• Sometimes it's better to stay silent and let the universe answer all those questions and allegations which the world puts on you.
• Start loving yourself before you want someone to love you. Take care of yourself before you want to be taken care of
• My heart only breaks for you
• No one to blame but myself
• Why can't you feel the same towards me?
• You've never really had your heart broken until you have to block and delete everything after a breakup, deadass this shit hurts so bad
• I Hate When We Fight
• I have now come to the realization, I deserve more than you.
• Is this what love means?
• It's so difficult
• Just because Someone gave up on you, doesn't mean someone won't recognize your worth. Why cry and shout when the other person doesn't give a f*ck about it.

Clever Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

A lot of the time, people will post photos with clever captions for Instagram because they want to look smart. It might seem like a small thing, but sometimes it's super important...

Clever Petty Captions For Instagram are great little phrases that make you look really intelligent - which is difficult when you're trying not to come across as mean!

• Don't take life too seriously. I mean, you could end up being serious about it!
• I don't have to prove anything - not even my existence... this is just a reminder of how awesome I am!
• It's okay if you hate me because everyone already does.
• My therapist said that I'm a special case and that I shouldn't take anything seriously...
• The lion doesn't turn when a small dog barks.
• I'm not fabulous. I'm simple.
• I'm so tired of being tired. So now I don't care.
• Just because I don't use words doesn't mean my vocabulary sucks.
• Fewer friends. Less bullshit.
• Stop talking about people. Talk about things.
• The lion doesn't turn when a small dog barks.
• I don't know what's going on right now - but I have to find out!
• The best thing about being me is that there are so many people who want to be just like me.
• I hate the truth because it isn't always beautiful... but lying is even worse!
• Every time I see a rainbow, it reminds me that there's hope.
• If you can't handle me at my worst - then you don't deserve to have me in your life when things get better.
• A smile doesn't mean that someone likes you.
• Always believe in yourself. But I'll believe in myself.
• I don't have to be famous to be successful.
• I don't mind being underrated by someone who doesn't know me well.
• No revenge is the best revenge.
• If you think I am the problem, you are the problem creator.
• I'm always honest coz I don't care about someone hating me.
• Be brave. Make them curious.
• Focus on success. Not gossiping.
• Fools talk about others.
• Hate me till you're tired. So you won't hate me anymore.
• I don't care if you don't like me coz I ain't sure that you like yourself too.
• I don't dress smart to impress you.
• The reason you don't see my intelligence is the same reason you don't see my underwear.

Short Petty Captions For Instagram (2024)

A lot of the time, people will post photos with short and sweet captions for Instagram because they don't want to come across as mean. The internet is a small place, but it's also really big...

Short Petty Captions For Instagram are great little phrases that make you look really funny - even if other people can't see your face!

• I want my life back, where's the remote?
• If at first, you don't succeed, call it version one.
• I'm not wearing pants right now...deal with it!
• My house is so messy I can't find a place to sit down and eat lunch in peace.
• I'm just going to leave this here, that's all.
• I don't even know what to say right now.
• It's okay, no one notices anyway...
• I'm just gonna leave this here right now.
• Fools talk about others.
• Hate me till you're tired. So you won't hate me anymore.
• I don't care if you don't like me coz I ain't sure that you like yourself too.
• Can you see the – f*ck you – in my smile?
• Dime piece.
• I am Mine before anyone else.
• I know I'm lucky that I'm so cute.
• I'm sexy, and I know it!
• If you're honestly happy, fuck what other people think.
• Life isn't perfect. But my Hair is!
• Proof that I can do selfies better than you.
• Queens do not compete with hoes.
• I'm so tired of being tired. So now I don't care.
• Just because I don't use words doesn't mean my vocabulary sucks.
• Fewer friends. Less bullshit.
• Stop talking about people. Talk about things.

More Petty Caption Ideas For Instagram (2024)

Petty Captions For Instagram are great for helping people make their photos look better. They're also a good way of making other people laugh - even if they don't know you!

Here are some more ideas for petty captions...

• I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.
• Sometimes you have to put the past behind you and move on!
• If people can't handle me at my worst - then they don't deserve to see me when things get better.
• I'm not really sure what's going on right now, but I think it's the end times...
• I would never judge someone without knowing the whole story.
• It's okay to be upset, but it won't help anything in the long run... so do whatever makes you happy.
• I'm not afraid of the dark because I know that everything is just fine where it belongs.
• This might be one long and confusing sentence, but at least we're all here together!
• Sometimes you just have to laugh - even if your world is falling apart around you!
• The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
• I don't always have a smile on my face - but I still appreciate all of the things that life has to offer me.
• It's okay if people think that I'm mean because they obviously haven't seen how nice I am when it really matters!
• You look like someone who likes taking selfies
• I'm not mad I'm happy for you
• No filter is needed for these abs, my six-pack needs no editing at all to thank you very much.
• It's so hot outside, I'm melting all over the place!
• I just really needed to vent about something right now.
• My life is great but it would be even greater if this homework was already done and handed in!
• Can someone please pinch me? Is this real life?!
• I'm just going to leave this here right now.
• I don't know what I did but today has been a good day!
• My life is great, thank you for asking...no really though, it's the best it's ever been!
• If my life was a movie, then people would be rolling in the aisles right now from how funny it is.
• If you're not the lead role then why are your lines so important?
• I have a new appreciation for life today, I'm just going to leave this here.
• I just want to live life at the moment, stop worrying about what's going to happen next.
• I'm not even mad...this is my new state of happiness!
• "Me" time FTW! No one can ruin this for me.
• If you don't like it, then I really couldn't care less right now!
• I'm just going to leave this here... that's all.
• "Oh I didn't know you were coming over" - said no one ever!
• Life is too short, stop wasting it worrying about things that don't matter in the end.
• Don't put me on a pedestal because chances are I'm going to fall off!
• I don't know what's wrong with me right now but I think it's a good thing...time will tell.
• This is my bedside table and it's where I keep all of my snacks"

Final Words

Captioning is really popular on Instagram because it can be a lot of fun. Most people just want other people to see how funny and clever they are, but there's nothing wrong with that!

We hope that you've learned some new ideas for petty Instagram captions. If so, then why not share them with other people who might find the same things useful? It would be really nice of you - and it can only take up a few seconds of your time!

If you have any questions or comments - then feel free to leave them in the comment section below. We would love to hear from other people who might want a little help writing their own captions for photos online.