900+ Quotes By Oscar Levant (2024) Unearthed Wisdom & Humor

In the world of music and entertainment, few figures have left as lasting an impression as Oscar Levant. A virtuoso pianist, composer, actor, and humorist, Levant's multifaceted talent graced the stages of Hollywood and the airwaves of radio and television throughout the 20th century. Much like the timeless compositions he crafted, "Quotes By Oscar Levant" offers a glimpse into the wit, wisdom, and unique perspective of this remarkable artist.

Oscar Levant's life was a symphony of creativity and complexity. His quotes not only showcase his sharp sense of humor but also reveal the profound observations he made about life, music, and the human condition. 

Quotes By Oscar Levant (2024)

Oscar Levant, a brilliant pianist, composer, actor, and humorist, left an indelible mark on the worlds of music and entertainment. His wit and wisdom, encapsulated in "Quotes By Oscar levant," provide a glimpse into the multifaceted mind of a true Renaissance figure. Here are unique and thought-provoking quotes by Oscar Levant:

• "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
• "Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember."
• "I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin."
• "Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood, and you'll find the real tinsel underneath."
• "I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy."
• "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
• "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
• "The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too."
• "Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision."
• "A pun is the lowest form of humor when you didn't think of it first."
• "Schizophrenia beats dining alone."
• "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
• "I'm the man who ruined Hollywood's reputation."
• "I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients."
• "I'm a pianist. Pianists don't argue; we discuss."
• "What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left."
• "I envy people who drink; at least they know what to blame everything on."
• "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
• "I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
• "I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good."
• "I'm always late. My ancestors are all Native Americans."
• "I'm not against half-naked girls— not as often as I'd like to be."
• "I don't drink. I'm allergic to alcohol, and narcotics."
• "I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself."
• "I can't sit at a bar and have one drink. It just doesn't work that way. I must have the whole package."
• "I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents."
• "I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth."
• "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
• "I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side. I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts."
• "There is a fine line between the wishbone and the jawbone."
• "I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead."
• "The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad."
• "I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away."
• "I have a lifetime contract with Neiman-Marcus, and that's something you can't buy, sweetheart."
• "I don't drink water. Fish (expletive) in it."
• "So, have you heard any good quotes lately?"
• "I'm not a hypochondriac, but my back does hurt a little."
• "I'm an atheist, and I thank God for it."
• "A true friend stabs you in the front."
• "I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself."

Also Read: Quotes By Duke Ellington

• "I'm not against half-naked girls, not as often as I'd like to be."
• "I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."
• "I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary talent."
• "I'm not a mental case, but I play one on the radio."
• "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, they get to know something."
• "I can't decide whether I'm a good example or a horrible warning."
• "I'm not a genius, but I'm a darned good dresser."
• "I'm in no condition to discuss my condition."
• "I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll double-cross that bridge when he comes to it.'"
• "A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."
• "The only difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that the latter has been to the analyst longer."
• "A hospital is no place to be sick."
• "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
• "There's a fine line between love and nausea."
• "Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it."
• "Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character."
• "I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them."
• "I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself."
• "I've got a wonderful future behind me."
• "I don't drink water because fish have sex in it."
• "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
• "I don't drink anymore, on the other hand, I don't drink any less either."
• "My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
• "I'm the best. I could take Buster Keaton with one hand behind my back."
• "I don't drink because if I don't know where my next drink is coming from, I get thirsty."
• "I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders."
• "The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
• "I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment."
• "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
• "I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain."
• "Happiness is not something you experience; it's something you remember."

• "I don't care if I never see another sun set again, or if I have to see every sun set. It's my sun set."
• "I'm not a drinker—I'm a drunk."
• "The days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days."
• "I'm not a composer. I'm a composer of music, but I'm not a composer of life."
• "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
• "I have a wonderful collection of prejudices. I love them all."
• "I don't care if I never see another sunset again, or if I have to see every sunset. It's my sunset."
• "I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on."
• "I'm not a heavy drinker; I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
• "I'm the fellow who goes to bed with a book and wakes up with a hangover."
• "Roses are red, violets are blue; I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
• "I'm a concert pianist—that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment."
• "Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
• "I can't even do suicide right."
• "A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first."
• "I used to be a heavy gambler, but now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind."
• "I'm what you might describe as the classic neurotic."
• "I'm the only man in the world with a marriage license made out 'To Whom It May Concern.'"
• "I can't write five words but that I change seven."
• "I'm not really a heavy smoker anymore. I only get through two lighters a day now."
• "The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
• "A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
• "I'm the most considerate egomaniac you're ever likely to meet."
• "I don't drink. I don't like those moments of clarity."
• "I have a terrible cold, and I'm going to give it to you."
• "I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge."
• "I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage."
• "What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left."
• "I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
• "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
• "So, have you heard any good jokes lately? Neither have I."
• "I am no more humble than my talents require."
• "I don't have ulcers; I'm a carrier."
• "There's a fine line between insanity and genius. I have erased this line."

Also Read: Quotes By Steve McQueen

In the world of Oscar Levant, humor was a refuge, music a sanctuary, and wit a weapon against life's complexities. As we reflect upon the myriad quotes from this multifaceted genius, it becomes evident that Levant's words continue to resonate with the timeless themes of humor, introspection, and the human condition.

"Quotes By Oscar levant" offers not just a glimpse into his remarkable life but also an opportunity to embrace the audacious spirit of a man who defied convention and carved his own path in the annals of entertainment.