880+ Quotes From Jay And Silent Bob (2024) Best Laughs

"Venturing into the colorful universe of Jay and Silent Bob, we find ourselves immersed in a world of humor, wit, and unapologetic irreverence. For fans and aficionados, 'Quotes From Jay and Silent Bob' serve as a treasure trove of memorable and iconic lines that have left an indelible mark on pop culture. 

"From the uproarious quips that have us rolling in laughter to the unexpectedly profound musings that touch the depths of our souls, 'Quotes From Jay and Silent Bob' offer a kaleidoscope of insights into the human condition, all wrapped in the distinctive, offbeat charm of these two iconic characters. 

Quotes From Jay And Silent Bob (2024)

Enter the comically irreverent world of Jay and Silent Bob, where laughter knows no bounds and witty one-liners reign supreme. With these unique and unforgettable quotes, this collection encapsulates the humor, wisdom, and distinctive style of these iconic characters, created by filmmaker Kevin Smith:

• "Snoochie boochies!"
• "Yeah, but there's no point in crying over spilled melons."
• "I'm like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation."
• "Sometimes, you gotta let your soul glo."
• "It's all about the clit, dude."
• "I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule."
• "Silent Bob's a man of action. Who the hell knows what he's thinking?"
• "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
• "Just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you."
• "I figure, f*** it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard? I could be elected president."
• "Stinkpalm? Is it one of the chocolate or the fudge variety?"
• "If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank."
• "In this world, gone mad, we won't spank the monkey—the monkey will spank us."
• "No time for love, Dr. Jones!"
• "There's only one return, and it ain't of the king—it's of the Jedi."
• "When you can't say 'f***,' just use the word 'smoochy-boochies.'"
• "It's not like anyone ever said, 'Hey, I can't wait to go to work today and process an RST video.'"
• "Hey, baby, ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?"
• "Hetero life mate."
• "15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand."
• "I'm like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!"
• "No ticket."
• "The world is my oyster, but it's not a pearl."
• "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you."
• "Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that people are meant to be together?"
• "If you want to understand your parents more, get them to talk about their own childhood; and if you listen to the stories, you will know a lot about their fears and hopes."
• "You can't change the past, but you can learn from it."
• "In life, it's not where you go, it's who you travel with."
• "Sometimes, you gotta let your heart lead you…even if you know it's gonna get you in trouble."
• "Life is an open book, and it's up to you to write the story."
• "You gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N."
• "I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
• "To infinity and beyond!"
• "The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."
• "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
• "You have no idea what I'm capable of."
• "We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."
• "May the Force be with you."
• "You complete me."
• "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

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• "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
• "You had me at 'hello.'"
• "I feel the need…the need for speed."
• "Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get."
• "You can't handle the truth!"
• "Here's looking at you, kid."
• "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
• "There's no place like home."
• "You talking to me?"
• "Just keep swimming."
• "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
• "Go ahead, make my day."
• "May the odds be ever in your favor."
• "I am Groot."
• "I'll be back."
• "You're killing me, Smalls!"
• "I'm the king of the world!"
• "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."
• "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"
• "Are you not entertained?"
• "It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
• "I see dead people."
• "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille."
• "I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody."
• "I'll have what she's having."
• "Hey, man, there's a lot of fine-looking ladies in the world, but not all of them will bring you lasagna at work."
• "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
• "Silent Bob, you're a rude mother, you know that?"
• "15 bucks, little man, put that **** in my hand!"
• "You know what's ****ed up? I know what's ****ed up."
• "Why are we walking like this?"
• "What the **** is the internet?"
• "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams."
• "I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this ****."
• "Justice is served."
• "I've got to see about a girl."
• "I'm gonna hang a ****ing sign saying 'Don't, on the ****ing door!"
• "You're chasing Amy."
• "These *es make us look like Downton ****ing Abbey!"
• "I'm not gay, I love my girlfriend!"

• "Just tell 'em, Silent Bob."
• "You're not allowed to ****ing talk!"
• "Damn, baby, you so fine, I wanna **** the **** outta you!"
• "Man, that kid's back on the escalator again!"
• "Bunch of savages in this town."
• "There's no such thing as an appropriate joke, that's why it's a joke."
• "I hate people, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?"
• "Who the **** is driving this car, Stevie Wonder?"
• "Do you know how much balls it takes to play a game like this, man?"
• "Now all we need is a little energy on our part and a great big ****ing explosion."
• "This is the most perverted thing I've ever been a part of."
• "I'm hetero, man! I kick *** for the Lord!"
• "****, no, we gotta go to that ****ing party."
• "I don't feel tardy."
• "Holy ****, man, it's the *-**ing-standard!"
• "Yeah, who is driving? Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be?"
• "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change."
• "Justice, like lightning, ever should appear to few men's ruin, but to all men's fear."
• "Well, maybe I'll just **** YOUR life up!"
• "I'm gonna ****ing drop you!"
• "Get off the ****ing car!"
• "I don't want to be the shepherd; I want to be the guy who ****s the shepherds."
• "One ****ing customer with complaints equals nine with amnesia."
• "Sometimes, silence is ****ing golden."
• "Life's a *, **** it."
• "Why can't you love me for who I am?"
• "Don't talk **** about Total."
• "I'm gonna strap my *** to a rocket and get it launched the **** outta here!"
• "Dude, I ****ing knew you were gay!"
• "Tell that stupid **** to chill!"
• "So, what are we gonna do now?"
• "What's a nave?"
• "Let me give you a little inside information about God."
• "You're an illiterate ****-tard."
• "And the sign says, 'You got to have a membership card to get inside.' Huh, huh."
• "I'm not here to service you."
• "Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?"
• "Take it easy, I'm a smoker!"
• "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. What is it?"
• "****, no. I take that **** back. You wanna ****ing snort it?"
• "If you say '****' one more time, I'm gonna bust your ****ing lip."
• "You know, I'm not sure about this Miramax deal anymore, man."
• "Sometimes, I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and ****ing chicks."
• "I'm ****ing stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the ****. You're very good-looking. I'm not very attractive."
• "This is one ****ty town."
• "Why don't you shut the **** up, huh?"
• "Does the piano have stripes?"
• "Is it my imagination, or do really big women have really big *?"
• "I love the smell of commerce in the morning."
• "You must be 18 or older to ride."

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As we wrap up our journey through the irreverently humorous and strangely profound world of Jay and Silent Bob, it becomes evident that the charm of their unique brand of humor and wisdom transcends the screen.

These "Quotes From Jay And Silent Bob" have not only entertained us with their zany wit but have also provided moments of introspection and pure laughter. These quotes are a testament to the enduring appeal of these iconic characters created by filmmaker Kevin Smith and their ability to resonate with audiences across generations.