In the realm of classic comedy films, few characters have left as lasting an impression as Uncle Buck. Played brilliantly by the legendary John Candy, Uncle Buck is the quintessential lovable, unconventional, and larger-than-life relative we all secretly wish we had in our own families.
His outrageous antics and heartfelt moments have not only earned him a special place in cinematic history but have also given rise to a treasure trove of memorable "Uncle Buck quotes" that continue to tickle our funny bones and touch our hearts.
Uncle Buck Quotes (2024)
"Uncle Buck," a comedy classic featuring the incomparable John Candy, has left audiences in stitches and warmed their hearts for decades. The film introduces us to the larger-than-life character of Uncle Buck, whose unconventional and often hilarious approach to life brings forth a treasure trove of memorable quotes.
"I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Lou." - Uncle Buck
"Here's where we separate the men from the boys. Miles, put your hand on your hip." - Uncle Buck
"You see, I promised myself I would never do anything that I didn't wanna do. But this, I'm gonna do for you." - Uncle Buck
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face." - Uncle Buck
"I'm Mike Donnelly, Mary's son." - Tia
"We're going to cook pancakes and take them to school." - Uncle Buck
"I'm not interested in your opinion. Just pay me for the pizza." - Pooter the Clown
"Just remember, you're only as old as you feel." - Uncle Buck
"Hey, take it easy. I'm in pre-law, man." - Miles
"It's a very delicate piece of machinery, honey." - Uncle Buck
"Don't bark, huh? You don't understand anything, do you?" - Uncle Buck
"We're just glad it's you and not a tall woman." - Miles
"I got a mole on my face. It's got hair growing out of it. What do you think of that?" - Uncle Buck
"I'm gonna ask you a question, and I want a straight answer. How much is the tire?" - Uncle Buck
"Pooter, poot." - Uncle Buck
"I'm alone, and I'm frightened." - Tia
"I can't even hear you. What is that, a bullhorn?" - Uncle Buck
"Bug." - Uncle Buck
"I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve." - Uncle Buck
"You hate people!" - Tia
"Where'd you get this?" - Uncle Buck
"Hey, look at you. You're a lousy shot." - Uncle Buck
"Would you like to speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?" - Uncle Buck
"You ever hear of a ritual killing? What kind of sicko does something like that?" - Uncle Buck
"I'm washing my socks." - Uncle Buck
"You hate me, right?" - Tia
"I don't need a shrink. I need a kid." - Uncle Buck
"Did I say that out loud?" - Uncle Buck
"Are you a narcotics agent?" - Uncle Buck
"That's a pretty stupid place to put a chair." - Uncle Buck
"Now, uh, who's your favorite uncle?" - Uncle Buck
"Whoa, listen to this kid. Uh, we're going through some changes." - Uncle Buck
"You got a quarter?" - Uncle Buck
"Not much better." - Uncle Buck
"What do you want from me, huh? Do you want something? You wanna... You wanna something from me?" - Uncle Buck
"Can I get anybody anything?" - Uncle Buck
"Smoking or non-smoking?" - Uncle Buck
"What's your record for consecutive questions asked?" - Uncle Buck
"Who's gonna be our babysitter?" - Maizy Russell
"You're a fat old man who has no friends." - Tia
"I'm your uncle, and I love you. I want to see you grow up to be a decent, moral young lady. I want to see you get married and have kids and get old." - Uncle Buck
"A pancake that big is gonna be heavy on your stomach." - Uncle Buck
"That's a pointless conversation for an adult to have, let alone kids. I'm proud of you." - Uncle Buck
"Can I get you anything? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?" - Uncle Buck
"I can get this thing. I don't need a detective agency." - Uncle Buck
"I've got a lot of anger. I work on that." - Uncle Buck
"Hey, I like this dog. You know, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes." - Uncle Buck
"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer or a sillyheart. I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job." - Uncle Buck
"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer or a silly heart." - Uncle Buck
"I can get this thing. I don't need a detective agency." - Uncle Buck
"No. I have a girl." - Maizy Russell
"Oh, that's good. What's she like?" - Uncle Buck
"I don't think you appreciate the gut reaction people have to these things." - Uncle Buck
"She's like my best friend." - Maizy Russell
"Just give me some money." - Tia
"Do you have a woman over there?" - Uncle Buck
"Sure. Two dollars." - Uncle Buck
"You have much more hair on your nose than my dad." - Maizy Russell
"I'm very old." - Uncle Buck
"Do you have a sister?" - Maizy Russell
"You have a boyfriend over there?" - Uncle Buck
"Let me hear you say it." - Uncle Buck
"I'm in love." - Maizy Russell
"Well, great. You wanna go wash up?" - Uncle Buck
"I mean it, Maiz. You're grounded for life." - Tia
"You a boy or a girl?" - Miles
"I'm a girl." - Maizy Russell
"Can I brush my teeth first?" - Uncle Buck
"You wear a bra?" - Miles
"Not yet." - Maizy Russell
"Hey, how's your knee?" - Maizy Russell
"Good. How's your face?" - Uncle Buck
"Your room's on fire." - Uncle Buck
"We have a very large elephant." - Maizy Russell
"You're such a slug. Come here, I want to talk to you." - Tia
"Hey, uh, can I have a word with you? Yeah, come here." - Uncle Buck
"Oh, you're ugly." - Uncle Buck
"We need some lead, huh? I think you might have some." - Uncle Buck
"Look at the size of this thing. It's like Vegas." - Uncle Buck
"Oh, we can have a nasty fight. Have you ever been in a storm like that, Mr. Wheaton?" - Uncle Buck
"Is this kid joking? I just got off the phone with his teacher. He said, 'I can't remember the last time I saw a kid that couldn't sit still.' He's over there asking the teacher how to spell 'dirt.'" - Uncle Buck
"Does that dog have a toupee?" - Uncle Buck
"I want you to stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself." - Uncle Buck
"I'll get the car. Let's go, guys." - Uncle Buck
"Just think of it, my very first prom, and with the boy next door." - Maizy Russell
"Let's see here... Home Alone... Twelve-year-old Tia. 'Tia, can we rent Robocop?' 'Not in your life.' 'Okay, you pick out something, and I'll get that for you.'" - Tia
"You think I'm a thief? Is that it?" - Miles
"That's a pretty short honeymoon." - Uncle Buck
"He called me 'Miles.' I thought he'd call me 'Shorty.'" - Miles
"Where do you live? In a tree or something?" - Miles
"You should go check on him. You know, he could get in trouble or something." - Tia
"This is water." - Miles
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face." - Uncle Buck
"That's a pretty pointless conversation for a parent to have." - Uncle Buck
"Can I make you a drink?" - Uncle Buck
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face." - Uncle Buck
"What's your record for consecutive questions asked?" - Uncle Buck
"Bug." - Uncle Buck
"We're not completely closed-minded. We're just cautious." - Cindy Russell
"We're not completely closed-minded. We're just cautious." - Cindy Russell
"I'm here to answer any questions that you might have." - Cindy Russell
"I've got to know where you keep your money." - Uncle Buck
"Hey, what's your record for consecutive questions asked?" - Uncle Buck
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face." - Uncle Buck
"My nephew, in the first grade, knows the principle of osmosis." - Miles
"Uh, I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer or a silly heart." - Uncle Buck
"Excuse me, but I have spent enough time with Mr. 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.'" - Tia
"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer or a silly heart." - Uncle Buck
"I'm her father. I brought her here." - Cindy Russell
"I mean it, Maiz. You're grounded for life." - Tia
"You have much more hair on your nose than my dad." - Maizy Russell
"You're a disappointment, Miles. You're a constant source of disappointment to me." - Cindy Russell
"You must be like the Blue Man Group. People pay money to see you, right?" - Uncle Buck
"Can I brush my teeth first?" - Uncle Buck
"Can I get you anything? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?" - Uncle Buck
"Where do you live? In a tree or something?" - Miles
"We need some lead, huh? I think you might have some." - Uncle Buck
"I'm gonna take a shower." - Uncle Buck
"Uh, I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer or a sillyheart. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job." - Uncle Buck
"A pancake that big is gonna be heavy on your stomach." - Uncle Buck
In the world of film and comedy, "Uncle Buck quotes" have carved out a special place in our hearts, much like the character himself. John Candy's portrayal of Uncle Buck, with his unique blend of humor, wisdom, and love, has left an indelible mark on cinema. As we reflect on these memorable quotes, we're reminded of the laughter and warmth that this character brought into our lives.
