910+ Schitts Creek Quotes (2024) Laugh Out Loud Lines

Immerse yourself in the whimsical world of "Schitt's Creek," a television comedy series that has captured the hearts of audiences worldwide with its quirky characters, hilarious antics, and heartwarming moments. In this collection of quotes, aptly titled "Schitt's Creek Quotes," we delve into the witty, irreverent, and often poignant lines delivered by the beloved inhabitants of the small town of Schitt's Creek. From the eccentric Rose family to the colorful residents of the town, each quote offers a glimpse into the unique personalities and dynamic relationships that define this charming community.

Schitts Creek Quotes (2024)

Step into the world of Schitt's Creek with these memorable and delightful quotes from the beloved television series. From witty one-liners to heartwarming moments, these quotes capture the essence of the quirky characters and charming dynamics of the town. Dive into the humor, wit, and touching moments that have made Schitt's Creek a beloved favorite among audiences worldwide.

• "Ew, David!"
• "Fold in the cheese."
• "I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now."
• "I would be pleased to partake of your pecan pie."
• "You get murdered first for once."
• "Love that journey for me."
• "I'm positively bedeviled with meetings today."
• "I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine."
• "You're my Mariah Carey."
• "What is your favorite season? Awards."
• "I'd kill for a good coma right now."
• "You're like a little flower. A little rose. A little, like, clump of pollen."
• "I'm trying to earn money the old-fashioned way: selling drugs to kids."
• "It's my turn to take a selfish!"
• "The internet's a breeding ground for freaks."
• "I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year."
• "I'm incapable of faking sincerity."
• "I would rather be eaten by a giant praying mantis than do this."
• "This wine is awful. Give me another glass."
• "I have my own personal version of 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.' It's a long story."
• "I would be pleased to RSVP as pending."
• "You smell like a baby prostitute."
• "I've just never cared for the word 'slacks.'"
• "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom."
• "I'm not very good at talking to people about things."
• "What does your beanie say?"
• "A lot of the verbiage seems fairly similar to our own."
• "We're simply the best."
• "Are you trying to steal my business?"
• "I was not hiding, I was napping."
• "I'm like a white wine spritzer."
• "There's just something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little."
• "Bridesmaid, not bride."
• "I'm feeling very attacked!"
• "You burned the cheese!"
• "Very uninterested in that opinion."
• "I'm not good, I'm fabulous."
• "I'm very good at making muffins."
• "This wine is awful, get me another glass."
• "What if the numbers align and I'm just a terrible person?"

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• "I'd rather not demean the organs in my body with constant chatter."
• "You know, sometimes you're really pretty."
• "The internet is a breeding ground for freaks."
• "No, I am positively bedridden with humiliation."
• "I am trying very hard not to connect with people right now."
• "I feel like I'm a whole different generation from you."
• "You need to find someone who wants you the way you are."
• "I'd rather not be defined by my career."
• "Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you can't do it."
• "Love that journey for you."
• "I'm very proud of this journey we've been on."
• "I'm quite used to certain luxuries."
• "You just folded in the cheese!"
• "Don't say I'm not good at texting."
• "I'm very overwhelmed right now."
• "Do you have any new moisturizer?"
• "I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine. And I've been known to sample the occasional rosé."
• "I have looked worse."
• "I do not say 'Aww.'"
• "I don't know how you drink that swill."
• "You were screaming like a maniac."
• "What does it say about us that we're eating in a motel room?"
• "I could probably show you some basic things."
• "I've taken a personal day."
• "I'm feeling very judged right now."
• "That's my horrible decision to make."
• "This is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy."
• "I'm very uncomfortable with feelings."
• "What is your favorite season?"
• "I don't have a problem, David. You have a problem."
• "I think I'd be really good at PR."
• "The wine selection here is abominable."
• "I do not ride a bicycle."
• "That is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
• "I think I'm going to like it here."
• "I'm positively bedeviled by my charm."
• "I'm having a moment, David!"
• "I'm just hoping to keep the door closed on this entire conversation."
• "Stop doing that with your face!"
• "You're like a big sister I never had… very judgy."
• "Do I have to hold your hand through everything?"
• "That's the worst."
• "I'm not really into public displays of emotions."
• "This wine is awful. Get me another glass."
• "What would Moira do?"
• "I would rather watch a dog show."
• "I don't handle disappointment well."
• "David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican."
• "I don't skate through life, David. I walk."
• "You've got to be positively bedeviled to want to set foot in there."

• "I would rather be waterboarded."
• "You just fold it in, like a fragile piece of paper."
• "I'm just trying to stay positive, but I do not like this place."
• "I'm sweating like a sinner in church."
• "That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard."
• "You're like a disco ball made out of dung."
• "I would just like to know why the ceiling is leaking."
• "There's nothing quite like the horror of watching your child get bullied in a town you paid good money to live in."
• "I would make a very handsome Indian woman."
• "If that's your definition of a romantic evening, we're all going to die alone."
• "I'm positively bedeviled with meetings this afternoon."
• "You smell like ointment and chicken broth."
• "I can't go back to my room. There's a mosquito in there the size of a condor."
• "I'm more familiar with regional theatre than I am with regional airports."
• "You better get out there and spread your wings, little pelican."
• "Well, I guess it's just my natural animal magnetism."
• "It's like you took a bottle of glitter and threw it at yourself."
• "I'm not a morning person, but for you, I would wake up at sunrise."
• "I don't skate through life, David. I walk through life, in really nice shoes."
• "I'm very, very good at organizing events. I planned my dad's funeral. I was great at it."
• "I have to go now because I have a previous engagement. I have to clean out the fridge."
• "Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now."
• "You just described how I'm going to die."
• "The jazzagals are a very prestigious vocal ensemble."
• "I've never heard anyone scream that silently."
• "I love the journey of a hamburger."
• "Don't try to understand the art. Feel it."
• "The fact that I'm his best friend just makes that mean something."
• "There's no need to sit on that bench alone when you can come and sit on one of ours."
• "There's only one simple rule to follow when dealing with the paparazzi: stay out of the tabloids."
• "I'd rather spend time with someone I hate than with no one at all."
• "I'm not going to apologize for the way I look. I'm beautiful."
• "I've been criticized for my bluntness, but I prefer to be upfront."
• "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. I'm going to make it five or six times, you know, just to be sure."
• "I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not for everyone. I'm barely for anyone."
• "I'm not going to lie. I'm really, really, ridiculously good-looking."
• "I'm not going to judge anyone. I'll leave that to the professionals."
• "I'm not going to let anyone tell me how to live my life. Unless it's a licensed therapist."
• "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm sweet enough already."
• "I'm not going to settle for anything less than perfection. Which is probably why I'm still single."
• "I'm not going to change who I am just to please someone else. Unless they have chocolate."
• "I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not. Unless it's Halloween."
• "I'm not going to waste my time worrying about what other people think of me. Unless they're paying my bills."
• "I'm not going to let anyone rain on my parade. Unless it's a parade of puppies. Then I might let them in."
• "I'm not going to let anyone walk all over me. Unless they're wearing really cute shoes."
• "I'm not going to let anyone bring me down. Unless they have a really good reason."
• "I'm not going to let anyone steal my thunder. Unless they have an umbrella."
• "I'm not going to let anyone dim my sparkle. Unless they have a disco ball."
• "I'm not going to let anyone crush my dreams. Unless they have a steamroller."
• "I'm not going to let anyone burst my bubble. Unless they have a pin."

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In a world where humor is often found in the unlikeliest of places, "Schitts Creek Quotes" stand as a testament to the power of wit and charm. Through its quirky characters and delightful scenarios, the show has carved out a special place in the hearts of viewers around the globe. As the curtain falls on this comedic masterpiece, one cannot help but reflect on the journey of the Rose family and the residents of Schitt's Creek. From the humble beginnings of a wealthy family's downfall to the heartwarming moments of growth and acceptance, the show has provided laughter, love, and valuable life lessons along the way.